The rules of texting and social media keep changing — what older adults should know

It wasn’t so long ago that a phone call or a handwritten note was the standard for staying in touch. Now, navigating the ever-shifting landscape of texting and social media can feel overwhelming, especially for those who grew up in a world without instant digital communication. Recently, Aging Untold, a program dedicated to providing guidance for older adults, addressed this challenge head-on, highlighting the often-unspoken rules of the digital age and offering practical advice for staying connected safely. It’s a sentiment I’ve heard echoed around Alpharetta, where many grandparents are trying to bridge the communication gap with their tech-savvy grandchildren – a beautiful effort, but one that requires understanding a different set of social cues.

The Changing Rules of Digital Communication

The core message from Aging Untold is simple: the rules of communication are constantly changing, and what was acceptable or even polite yesterday might be considered rude or inappropriate today. Amy O’Rourke, an aging expert involved in the program, shared a personal anecdote that perfectly illustrates this point. “I got a text from my godson and he shamed me for the length of the text that I sent him,” she recounted. “OK, so there’s rules out there, and I don’t know what they are.” O’Rourke suggested consulting resources like Emily Post and Miss Manners to stay abreast of these evolving norms, a reminder that etiquette isn't a relic of the past but an ongoing adaptation to new social environments. She pointed to these resources as places to find up-to-date information on the rules.

Gerontologist “Sam” Cradduck emphasized that these shifts aren’t new. “The reality is the rules have always been changing. They’re fluid,” she explained. “They’re different from the 20s to the 30s to the 40s to the 50s.” This perspective provides comfort – change is a constant, and adapting to new forms of communication is simply the latest chapter in a long story of social evolution. The way we express ourselves and build relationships has always been shaped by the tools available to us, and now those tools are digital.

The Risks of Connection: Scams and Fast Relationships

Dr. Rhea Rogers, a board-certified physician, highlighted the increased vulnerability that comes with these new forms of connection. “They’re used to that handshake really meaning something,” she said, contrasting traditional forms of trust-building with the potential for scams and fast-paced online relationships. The desire for connection is a fundamental human need, and Rogers cautions that this desire can be exploited by those with ill intentions, emphasizing the importance of exercising caution when forming relationships online. “They’re looking for that interaction and the trust,” she continued. She also noted that older adults are often looking for connection, which makes them particularly vulnerable to exploitation.

Building Trust in a Digital World

Relationships that once took years to build now often start on social media. Cradduck explained, “The walls are gone. So now you’re telling intimate details about your life to a virtual stranger. And that’s not just our kids doing it or our older people. Everyone has fallen into that.” This shift demands a new level of discernment and caution when forming online relationships, recognizing that the traditional markers of trust may not apply in the digital realm.

Staying Safe Online: Practical Advice

The advice from Aging Untold resonated with many in Alpharetta, particularly those who are actively trying to connect with family members through digital channels. Katherine Ambrose, an aging well coach, underscored the importance of not letting caution completely deter older adults from embracing technology. “You should, because it’s going to keep you sharper, and it’s going to keep you in relationship with the younger people in your life and with your friends,” she said. Maintaining social connections is vital for mental and emotional well-being, and technology offers a powerful means of bridging geographical distances and generational gaps.

The program also stressed the importance of having a “buddy” – someone to check in with before responding to texts or engaging on social media. “I want to have people to have a buddy, have somebody that you check in with to say, ‘I’m about to respond to this text, I’m about to jump on this Facebook,’ and check it out with somebody before you jump in,” O’Rourke suggested. This simple precaution can significantly reduce the risk of falling victim to scams or inadvertently sharing personal information with untrusted sources. “We’re all learning together, so just have a comfort level with that,” Ambrose added.

The Importance of Connection: Why Technology Matters

Learning to text and navigate social media isn't just about keeping up with the times; it's about maintaining vital connections with family and friends. Cradduck explained, “I understand that that may not be the most comfortable way to communicate, and it might not have fit your norm. But it is the norm of society.” For many families, especially those where parents work long hours or children are geographically dispersed, texting and social media are the primary means of staying in touch. Being able to participate in these conversations strengthens family bonds and helps older adults feel more connected to the younger generations.

Key Takeaways and Resources

The key takeaways from Aging Untold offer a practical roadmap for older adults navigating the digital world. Meet your family where they are, adapting to new technology keeps you connected, don’t take changing norms personally, a text may feel short, but the rules are different now, stay cautious online, and don’t let digital speed replace common sense boundaries. For those seeking further guidance on navigating the digital world safely, several resources are available. The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) offers valuable information on identifying and avoiding scams. The AARP provides a wealth of resources for older adults, including articles, webinars, and workshops on technology and online safety. Additionally, the City of Alpharetta offers various programs and services for seniors, which may include technology training and support.

It’s important to remember that staying connected doesn’t have to be complicated. A simple phone call or a handwritten note can still hold immense value. The key is to find a balance between embracing new technologies and preserving the traditions that have always fostered meaningful connections. And as Dr. Rogers emphasized, maintaining consistency and transparency in all forms of communication remains paramount.

">Disclaimer: This program is provided for educational and informational purposes only and does not constitute providing medical advice or professional services. The information provided should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem or disease, and those seeking personal medical advice should consult with a licensed physician. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health provider regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have seen on this program. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room immediately. No physician-patient relationship is created by this program or its use. Aging Untold/Gray Media, nor its employees, contractors or agents, nor any contributor to this program, makes any representations, express or implied, with respect to the information provided herein or to its use.</em